


Orphans

by A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight



Series: The Aftermath [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Moral Dilemmas, Sleep Deprivation, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:25:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8214151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight/pseuds/A_Lily_In_The_Moonlight
Summary: Taking care of his godson while trying to balance work proves overwhelmingly difficult for Harry. And yet, he can't let Teddy go...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and (constructive) criticism are super welcome! English isn't my first language so it's likely I've made a few mistakes. Don't hesitate to point them out, I'll correct them asap.
> 
> Thank you for your time and enjoy!

            “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

            Harry woke up with a start, his arm automatically reaching out to the wand on the bedside table.

            “Ouch!”

            Okay, so that was definitely _not_ the table. How on earth had the wall moved to this side of the bed?

            “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

            “Yes! Just a second, Teddy... _Lumos! Lumos!_ ”

            Nothing. The room was pitch black, the wall not where it was supposed to be, and by now, the wailing of the baby must have woken up Andromeda. Great. Not that there was a damn chance that she would come to help anyway; she probably already had cast a Silencio charm on the door and would now cry herself back to sleep.

            “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

            “ _Yes_ , Teddy, I'm _trying_! For Merlin's sake... _Accio wand! Lumos!”_

            Still nothing. He only realized now that he wasn't actually in his bed, but curled up on the floor, tangled in his blankets, in some corner of the room. Or perhaps not a corner. He could only feel one wall in the proximity.

            “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

            “Daisy!” he finally called out in despair.

            A loud "CRACK" echoed his call, followed by the sound of a bump.

            “Ouch!” whined the high-pitched voice of Andromeda's House-Elf. “Master Harry called for Daisy? Why is it so dark? Is Master Harry alright?”

            “I'm fine,” he said, bitter. “I just don't know where the hell I am in the room, and I can't get my hands on my wand.”

            A snap of Daisy's fingers had the light of the small room turned on. He only took a second to blink his eyes at the sudden brightness before jumping to his feet and rushing to Teddy's side.

            “Shhh...” he said, lifting the weeping baby up. “I'm right here. I'm right here.”

            He settled the little boy in his arms, wiping the wet round cheeks while the loud sobs slowly died out.

            “Thank you, Daisy,” he eventually whispered, retrieving his wand from the nightstand. “I'm sorry I had to wake you.”

            “No problem at all, Master Harry,” she squeaked. “Is there anything else Daisy can do?”

            “No, thank you,” he declined. “I will take it from here, go get some rest.”

            She bowed as low as she could, and disappeared with a new "CRACK". He _Accioed_ a baby bottle to nurse his godson, sitting back down wearily.

            “This is the third time tonight,” he yawned disapprovingly. “I'm gonna be a zombie at work in the morning, and it’s gonna be your fault.”

            Ted, suckling hard on the teat, lifted his tear-filled eyes to the young man, and Harry sighed.

            “Okay,” he said. “You're right. I can't blame you for being hungry, or having a nightmare, missing your parents or whatever you were crying for.”

            His own eyes blurred a little.

            “I miss them too, little guy- mine and yours. So damn much. But you know what?”

            He made the empty bottle vanish with a flick of his wand, and got up tiredly to burp the baby.

            “If I was even half as bad as you are when my Aunt and Uncle got me, there's no wonder they hated me so much.”

            He put a kiss on Teddy's unscarred forehead and tucked him back into bed.

            “Sleep tight, now, you troll. I could really use a few more hours of sleep.”

 

            It was wishful thinking, of course. Not five minutes, or so it seemed, after they had gone back to sleep, he was woken up by the sounds of cries again.

            He sat up, his heart pounding madly in his chest, the images of the nightmare still unfolding before his eyes.

            “Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” moaned Harry, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes.

            This time, he was the one who had woken Teddy up, and now there would be no putting him back to sleep. Harry's nightmares were rare these days, as if kept in check by the baby's presence and general exhaustion, but when they happened they frightened Teddy so much he bawled his eyes out for hours. The first few times this had happened, he had felt guilty and tried to keep Teddy from awakening by putting a silencing charm on himself; but apparently, the movements he made, though noiseless, were enough to wake the baby up. He had tried, half-heartedly, letting his godson in Daisy's care at night; but then the baby just cried until his voice was hoarse and didn't sleep a bit; so he had gone back to silencing charms – when he wasn't too exhausted to forget about it – and Teddy sleeping in his room.

            The young man got up dutifully and stumbled, half-asleep still, to the other side of the room, yawning as he picked the shouting baby up. There was no need for a wand, this time, as the first rays of sunshine were already weaving into the room through the window.

            “No more sleep for us, then,” he sighed, putting his slippers on. “I'm so sorry Ted. But you'll get a lot of naps today, yes?”

            The sobbing baby in his arms, he opened the heavy wooden door and walked down the stairs. The cottage was smaller than the Burrow, but felt bigger because of its emptiness. In a fit of rage, Andromeda had thrown away all the pictures and belongings of her husband and daughter – luckily they were salvaged by Daisy who had hid them in her own room, hoping to give them back to her mistress someday – and the dark corridors and endless cries of either one or the other humans inhabiting it made it hard for Harry to think of it as a home away from home. The house used to be welcoming, he recalled, but now that most of the unnecessary objects had disappeared, it just looked like a rental home – a haunted one.

            Getting into the kitchen, he sat Ted in the high chair and, soon enough, a spell had the baby bottles of the day prepare themselves while he started to cook his own breakfast the Muggle way.

            “Thank Merlin for Energy Potions,” he told the boy, drinking from a flask. “Without them, I would probably be in Azkaban for the murder of one particular baby.”

            He fed him one bottle while his meal finished to prepare itself – he had gotten quite good at domestic spells, these past few months – then made him burp and put him back down on the chair, a magical ball bouncing in the air in front of the serious eyes of the baby. He hoped for a smile or a sign of interest, but as usual, Ted showed none.

            It was clear that the baby was depressed. He never smiled or laugh or babbled; and Harry had never seen him use his Metamorphomagus abilities either. When, concerned, he had taken his godson to St-Mungos, the doctors had only said it was a normal reaction to grief, and that the boy simply needed time and patience, as well as constant presence and care so he would not develop separation anxiety. The problem was, Harry was only home at night, except on his weekly day-off, and even though he trusted Daisy completely as a nanny, he felt that what Teddy really needed was human contact – especially since there was no sign that he was getting better. When he had expressed his concerns to Hermione in one of the few letters he had the time to send her, she had confirmed that the situation wasn't good for Teddy's development, and had asked about Andromeda. But the older woman was a wreck. She spent her time in her room, and from what he gathered from Daisy, barely even ate. The only reason why he didn't call St-Mungos on her was Teddy; if she was taken away, where would he be sent to? Despite his status, there was little chance that a court would grant an eighteen year-old-boy the custody of a baby; especially since he was barely present at home anyway, and had a dangerous job. No, sending Andromeda away, as useless as she was, would only worsen the situation. It seemed there was no way out – no satisfying one at least.

            “Master Harry is going to be late,” said a tiny voice by his side, snapping him back to reality. “Does Master Harry want Daisy to take care of baby Teddy's bath?”

            He checked his watch and swore loudly, jumping on his feet. Daisy was already carrying the boy in her arms, so he just nodded and sprinted up back to his room to get ready, angry with himself. He would get there on time, no doubt, but bathing Teddy was the one relaxing thing he did in the morning, the one bonding time they shared. How long had he been lost in thought? And to discover no new solution, either. Dammit dammit _dammit_! Why worry his head over his lack of time with the child at the _precise moment_ he needed to be spending time with him?

            “Oh, Merlin,” he swore, angry tears gathering up in his eyes. “I didn't sign up for _that_ , Remus!”

 

            A few minutes later, he was stumbling out of the Floo chimney of the Auror Department.

            “Good morning Harry”, said the secretary without looking up from the papers she was ordering.

            “'Morning Prue,” he answered wearily. “How'd you always know when it's me?”

            “You have a very special way of almost falling out of the chimney,” she joked, putting the papers in different folders. “Bad night?”

            “Same old,” he sighed, sitting in front of her. “I'm early, aren't I?”

            “I haven't seen the others yet,” she confirmed. “Have you tried the co-sleeping I told you about? It might calm him down a bit, having you so near.”

            “It might,” he said wearily, “and I would, if I didn't move around so much in my sleep. I don't fancy waking up to him crushed under my weight or pushed out of the bed.”

            She nodded compassionately.

            “He's not improving,” he said sadly. “I don't know what to do. Andromeda's in no state to take care of him, and I can't have him be taken away from me. I just can't. And who would get him anyway? His closest relatives are the Malfoys, and there's no way in hell I would let–“

            “Harry,” Prue said firmly. “No court would ever send a toddler to the care of the Malfoys.”

            “Well then who? I know he has Muggle relatives too, but I just...”

            “Not everyone's like your Muggles,” said a low voice behind him.

            Ron took a chair from another desk and sat in front of him.

            “Teddy's still bad?” he asked.

            His best friend nodded.

            “Look mate – I don't mean to mingle, but it's no good letting him with just a House-Elf all day long.”

            “I _know_ , Ron,” Harry snapped. “Don’t you think I know that? But what exactly am I supposed to do?”

            “Give him up,” the ginger said without blinking. “Until things calm down. Send Dromeda to St-Mungos, because honestly, it’s not fair that she’s not properly taken care of either. Find a good family that can take care of Teddy until Dromeda feels better. Visit him on your day-off and have some time for you, and for work.”

            “Are you crazy??” Harry exclaimed, betrayed.

            “Harry, I score higher than you do in all of our tests because you basically _don’t study_. You're not fit, and you don't get a decent amount of hours of sleep, which means you're a danger to yourself and _everyone_ around you when we're on a field mission. Taking care of Teddy isn’t doing anyone any favours, mate.”

            ”I can't _abandon_ him,” Harry rebelled, angry at Ron for not understanding. “Not when he's already lost so many people!”

            Ron shrugged.

            “It’s the only good solution, unless you’re willing to resign and take care of both Teddy and Andromeda full-time. This situation is good for no one – not Dromeda, not Daisy, not you, not the people at work and not even Teddy. I'm just saying... Hermione's right, you know. History doesn't have to repeat itself. Not all Muggles are like your aunt and uncle.”

            He got up while Harry gaped at him – when had Hermione said that?? Was she turning her back on him too?? – and walked out to the classroom where they would have their theoretical classes all morning long, before field work started in the afternoon. Harry turned back to Prue.

            “I can't do that to him,” said Harry, pleading. “You know I can't do that.”

            Her eyes filled with compassion, but she shook her head.

            “He has a point,” she said gently. “It would be hard on both of you at first, but in the long run...”

            Unable to hear more, Harry got up briskly and stormed out of the room.


End file.
